I am Stalker- But what if I’m a victim?

I am Stalker – But what if I’m a victim?

“I am Stalker” is a new Netflix documentary about convicted stalkers in the US who talk about their personal experiences. Whilst for some viewers it is an interesting watch about true crime, it is actually an awful reality for victims of stalking. Here, Weronika Husejko looks at how victims of stalking can protect themselves through the family court.

Stalking has a fairly wide definition and some examples of stalking under the Protection from Harassment Act 1997 include: –

  • Following a person
  • Watching or spying on a person
  • Monitoring the use by a person of the internet or email

Stalking is generally considered to be a more aggressive type of harassment. However, it is not always easy to identify a victim of stalking. For example, stalking may include purchasing something in another person’s name without their consent.

The police say that the four warning signs of stalking are:-

Fixated
Obsessive
Unwanted
Repeated

If you are a victim of stalking, you may have recourse to some protective remedies via the Family Court.

Non-Molestation Orders

This is a type of injunction which is aimed at protecting you from a range of behaviours that can include stalking and harassment.

This option is available to those who are being stalked by what we refer to as an “associated person”. This includes people such as family members and ex-partners of the victim.

Injunction under Protection from Harassment Act 1976

Victims of stalking can also apply for an injunction under the Protection from Harassment Act. If granted this is a civil order from the Court which prohibits the stalker from taking steps which are considered to be stalking or harassment. The victim may also be able to seek damages from the Civil Court via this route.

This option is available  to all who are being stalked, including those victims who are being stalked by a stranger for example.

It is always sensible to speak to a solicitor about the most appropriate options for you in the first instance as this can of course vary dependent upon your specific set of circumstances.

The police can also apply for a Stalking Protection Order on your behalf which is a civil order. They may also refer your case to the Crown Prosecution Service who may decide to prosecute the stalker via the Criminal Courts in addition to the above Family Court remedies.

If you are indeed being stalked or harassed and you feel that you are in danger, we would always suggest that you contact the police. There is also a National Stalking Helpline that you can contact for help.

If you need advice on this topic, or any other matters concerning divorce or family law, please get in touch with our team at McAlister Family Law.

Co-parenting on Mother’s Day

Co-parenting on Mother’s Day

Whilst Mother’s Day is a special time of year, celebrating the enduring love and connection between mothers and their children, for many families, it can be a difficult day. Here, Charlotte Procter looks at how communication, flexibility and planning can keep the best interest of the Child/ren at heart when Co-parenting on Mother’s Day.

There are now over 2.5 million separated families in the UK and this occasion can especially present practical challenges and emotional complexities for families post-separation.

Research consistently underscores the benefits of children maintaining positive relationships with both parents post-separation. These benefits include improved emotional resilience, academic performance, and overall well-being.

It is important that parents remain focused on what is best for the children and take into consideration their wishes and feelings. It is also important to bear in mind the emotional impact on the child if they were not to see their mother on Mother’s Day, and equally if they were not able to see their father on Father’s Day.

An unamicable breakup can involve emotions and resentment. It is important for parents not to allow these feelings to impact their child’s relationship with their other parent. If a child is aware of hostility between their parents, this can have a negative impact on their relationship with their parents.

Special occasions such as Mother’s Day can often be overlooked by parents when making agreements in relation to contact, and making these agreements can be a big task for parents who are not on amicable terms.

 

Planning in Advance

It is therefore beneficial that discussions about special occasions are had in advance, allowing arrangements to be made in enough time. Having a clear and agreed plan will benefit the children and remove any uncertainty.

 

Communication is Key

It is also important that parents maintain open and respectful communication whilst making these arrangements. Co-parenting apps, such as talking parents, can assist parents in agreeing contact arrangements for the children.

 

Remain Flexible

Parents will need to remain flexible with the arrangements made and ensure they remain child focused as changes may need to be made to these arrangements as the children get older.

It may be that the parents already have an agreement in place and Mother’s Day may fall on a day when the child is meant to be with their father. It may therefore be necessary for parents to swap or change weekends to allow the child to spend time with their mother on Mother’s Day, and equally for them to spend time with their father on Father’s Day.

These arrangements can be even more difficult for LGBTQ families as they may need to consider whether to split the day or alternate years.

 

Encouragement

It is important for parents to support their children in expressing their love and appreciation for their other parent on special occasions, and if they are able to, to help them plan thoughtful gestures or gifts.

Another important consideration is ensuring that children feel like they have the endorsement of the other parent to have a good time, to enable them to make positive memories on important special occasions like Mother’s Day.

 

Other Options Available

If parents cannot reach an agreement between themselves, going to mediation may be useful. This is a cheaper alternative than going to court and the mediators can help the parents to reach an agreement.

Another useful option, before considering seeking assistance from the courts, may be to seek advice from a qualified solicitor or legal professional.

However, in situations where an agreement has broken down or cannot be reached, it may be necessary for parents to look to the family to court to help them define the time that the children spend with each parent. The child’s welfare is of paramount importance within the family court and so, as part of the court procedures, the child’s wishes and feeling are taken into account.

 

Regardless of how parents may feel about one another co-parenting is a collaborative effort. By prioritising open communication and making practical agreements, separated parents can create meaningful Mother’s Day celebrations ensuring their children make positive memories with both parents.

 

If you need advice on this topic, or any other matters concerning divorce or family law, please get in touch with our team at McAlister Family Law.

A second bite at the cherry- will it get harder after Potanina v Potanin?

A second bite at the cherry- will it get harder after Potanina v Potanin?

There has long been a (legitimate) practice of parties who have international links choosing a jurisdiction for divorce which suits them best.  Often this relates to a particular jurisdiction’s approach to maintenance or specific types of assets, such as inherited, pre-acquired assets and so on. It is commonly known as “forum shopping”. Here, Lisa Brown looks at the ongoing case of Potanina v Potanin and their multi-million-pound separation.

The recent appeal decision in Potanina v Potanin [2023] UKSC 3, however, is an example of something slightly different.  Put simply, this is having “another go” in England and Wales if the jurisdiction in which you originally divorced may not have resulted in a favourable financial settlement.

Legal basis

Part III of the Matrimonial and Family Proceedings Act 1984 allows a party to make an application to the family court in England and Wales, even where there has been a divorce and financial settlement elsewhere.  In order to do so, there must be a substantial connection with England and Wales and the purpose, per the case of Agbaje, is to alleviate the adverse consequences of no, or no adequate, financial provision being made in a foreign court.

Background to Potanina v Potanin

Both parties in this case were Russian nationals.  They met as teenagers and married in Russia in 1983.  They had 3 children who were brought up in Russia and they divorced in Russia in 2014.  It was only after the dissolution of their marriage that Natalia Potanina moved to London.

In the early days of the marriage, they were not well off but, in the 1990s, Vladimir Potanin became hugely wealthy.

Between 2014 and 2018 there were 5 separate proceedings litigated in the Russian courts, there were also proceeding in the US and Cyprus.

The central issue, in terms of the provision by the Russian courts, was that whilst marital assets were divided equally, this only included assets legally owned by the parties and excluded the various trusts and companies in which the husband held almost all of his wealth.

The result ultimately was that Natalia Potanina received payments to her that she says totalled $41.5m and Vladimir Potanin says totalled $84m- in either case a fraction of what she would have received if all of the beneficially owned assets had been included.

English proceedings

On 8 October 2018 Natalia Potanina issued an application under section 13 of the 1984 Act for leave to apply for financial relief under Part III (on the basis she had been habitually resident here for 1 year).

The application was made without notice by Cohen J on 25 January 2019.  Whilst the judge’s strong inclination was to order a hearing on notice to Mr Potanin, he was ultimately persuaded by Leading Counsel not to, and he granted leave.

As the application was granted without notice Mr Potanin had 7 days to apply to set this aside which he duly did.  His application was heard by Cohen J on 3 and 4 October who then dismissed the wife’s application commenting that:

if this claim is allowed to proceed then there is effectively no limit to divorce tourism

Natalia Potanin then appealed this decision and her appeal was allowed by King LJ on the basis that whilst she felt the way it should have been dealt with was a hearing with both parties present, having made the decision not to do that, there were limitations on the judge’s ability to set aside his original decision which effectively meant that unless the court had been misled or a decisive authority overlooked the application to set aside should be adjourned to be heard with the main application.  The initial order granting leave was restored.

The Supreme Court (2 judges dissenting), however, did not feel that the law did/ should presently restrict a judge’s powers on a set aside application in the way described by King LJ.  They felt that on a such an application the court should consider whether the application should be set aside because the conditions for leave are not met.  They were, however, not critical of the Court of Appeal’s approach in the circumstances and given the procedural history (set out in the judgment).

So where are we now?

The test on an application to set aside leave in these types of cases should be to decide a fresh hearing both sides whether the order should be made or not.  It may be there is now procedural reform in respect of these types of application.

The case has been hailed as a “win” for Vladimir Potanin but, for Natalia Potanina, all was not lost as she had also challenged the set aside decision on the basis that:

  1. She has satisfied the test for the granting of leave in any event.
  2. The application shouldn’t be dismissed insofar as the court has jurisdiction under Maintenance Regulation.

These points of appeal have gone back to the Court of Appeal to be decided and so the case goes on….

The court did point out that the facts of this case were probably an unreliable guide for most people given the husband was on of the richest people in the world and the wife already has many millions of US dollars.  Put simply, in their case all this litigation and the costs that go with it are worth it in terms of what there is to lose/ gain.

For most people that may not be the case and therefore if the test for leave is effectively to be “harder” it is all the more important to get early advice from a specialist family solicitor with experience in jurisdiction issues.

If you need advice on this topic, or any other matters concerning divorce or family law, please get in touch with our team at McAlister Family Law.

We got married in Las Vegas – is it a legal marriage?

We got married in Las Vegas – is it a legal marriage?

If you just got married in Las Vegas or you are planning to. You may wonder, is the marriage legal? The answer is, it depends! Here, Weronika Husejko looks at what a sin city wedding means in the courts of England and Wales.

It is a common theme in many romantic comedies. You may recall the famous scene in ‘Friends’ where Ross and Rachel get married in Las Vegas and don’t remember it the next day. Las Vegas is a very popular marriage destination in real life. As many as 3,500 British people get married in Las Vegas every year.

Your marriage in Las Vegas will generally be legally recognised in England and Wales if: –

  1. It complies with the local laws and procedure – which in these circumstances would be those of the state of Nevada; and
  2. The marriage would be allowed under the law of England and Wales.

This would apply to the majority of marriage ceremonies that take place abroad, whether in Las Vegas or elsewhere. Therefore, if it is a legal marriage in the state of Nevada, and it also complies with the laws of England and Wales at the time of marriage, it should be legal in England and Wales.

One requirement in England and Wales is that any previous marriage should have been formally ended i.e., you should be divorced at the time that you participate in the marriage ceremony. You should also have complied with the legal age for marriage in England and Wales, which has now risen to 18 years of age in all circumstances.

There is no requirement for you to register your Las Vegas marriage in the UK. Instead, you should ensure that you take your original marriage certificate back home with you and keep it in a safe place. If it is ever lost, it may be more difficult to obtain a new certified copy of the marriage certificate from Las Vegas, due to it being abroad.

If you are planning toeget married in Las Vegas, it is a good idea to do some research regarding the local laws relating to marriage in the state of Nevada.  One way to do so is to contact the local authorities, as they should be able to advise you as to what you will need to do to prepare for the marriage ceremony including what documents you will have to bring with you.

Planning ahead means that you can ensure that your marriage ceremony meets all of the requirements necessary for a legal marriage in Las Vegas and in England and Wales.

We can provide you with specialist advice as to the laws in England and Wales in relation to your marriage, and what is required to make sure that it is considered to be legal.

If you need advice on this topic, or any other matters concerning divorce or family law, please get in touch with our team at McAlister Family Law.

Will court fee increase in family courts negatively impact access to justice?

Will court fee increase in family courts negatively impact access to justice?

When a relationship ends, those that are married or in a civil partnership have no option but to issue a divorce application if they want to legally formalise their separation. Along with the divorce application, separating couples may also need to pay for a financial order application and a parental order application. Here, Fiona Wood looks at the recent announcement that there will be an increase to all court fees in 2024, and raises the concern that low income households may find themselves unable to make necessary family applications.

If a couple do decide to divorce, as well as issuing a divorce applicaition, they also need to obtain a financial settlement which needs to be approved by a judge if it is to be binding and enforceable. Even if the separation is amicable, a court fee is payable when a divorce application is made and a court fee is payable when a financial agreement is submitted to court for a judge’s approval.

A court fee is also payable by separated parents if they are unable to agree arrangements for their children and need to make an application to court (known as a Parental Order application) to ask a judge to assist them with this issue.

If there are ongoing proceedings regarding finances or children, there can be additional smaller court fees that have to be paid within the court process.

You may be exempt from these fees if you have limited or no income and little or no savings. However, many of those making family court applications have to pay these fees.

The court fees were last increased in September 2021. It has recently been announced that there will be an increase of 10% in all court fees in 2024, including those in family cases. The date for the fee increase has not yet been announced. The main court fees in family proceedings are as follows:

  • Divorce application – current fee £593 – new fee £652
  • Financial Order application (if finances not agreed) – current fee £275 – new fee £303
  • Financial Order application (if agreed) – current fee £53 – new fee £58
  • Parental order application – current fee £232 – new fee £255

The rationale for the increase is that the court fees are needed to help fund the court system. We are told that in 2022/2023 cost £2.3 billion to fund the court system and £727 million of this was funded from court fees. As the cost of running the court system increases the fees are increased to assist with this cost.

Whilst it is understandable that money needs to be raised to fund that court system, there is a concern that increasing the court fees will prevent many on low incomes from making necessary family court applications.

Legal fees for those who have separated and who need to make an application asking court regarding finances or arrangements for their children, are a struggle for many who have limited income or savings. Legal Aid is only available in very limited circumstances to deal with the legal issues that can arise when a relationship ends. To qualify for Legal Aid not only must you have very limited income and capital, but there must also have been recent domestic violence.

For those of limited means who do not qualify for Legal Aid, many have no option but to represent themselves within the court process. The number of case where both spouses/cohabitees represent themselves within family court proceedings has increased by 25% between 2013 and 2022, which shows how many are struggling with funding the court process. Increasing the court fees will only make this more difficult for them and could leave some unable to afford access to the family court.

If you or someone you know is affected by the issues raised in this blog post, we can provide you with expert legal advice. For more information, please get in touch with our specialist team at hello@mcalisterfamilylaw.co.uk

New fund to help domestic abuse victims escape abuse and help rebuild their lives.

New fund to help domestic abuse victims escape abuse and help rebuild their lives.

The Home Office announced that it is introducing a £2 million pound fund to provide support by way off a one-off payment to victims of domestic abuse to help them leave their abusers. Here, Melissa Jones, Senior Associate, looks at what this means for domestic abuse victims and what the funds covers.

What is the fund and how do I make a claim?

From 31st January 2024, if you are a victim of domestic abuse and you do not have the funds to leave your abuser (if you live together) then you can apply for a one-off payment of £500 for essential items and support with new accommodation.

In addition to the above, victims of domestic abuse can also apply for a further one-off payment of up to £2500 to “help secure a sustainable independent future, such as putting down a deposit for rental accommodation.”

The fund is set to last until March 2025 initially. Women’s Aid has been reappointed to help deliver this service and as of last year the fund helped over 600 victims to safety.

It has been reported that victims of domestic abuse find it hard to leave their abuser due to the costs of living and accommodation costs.

What is Domestic Abuse?

Domestic abuse is when someone close to you, often a partner or spouse causes you physical, sexual, financial or emotional hardship. It is a misconception that in order for you to be categorized as being in an abusive relationship, there must be physical violence. In many cases there is no physical violence; instead, there is psychological and emotional abuse.

Domestic violence can take many forms. Other than physical violence and threats of violence, you may feel intimidated by things that are said to you, or the manner in which you are treated. You may feel controlled and prevented from spending time with friends and family. Abuse can be verbal; you may feel belittled by your partner at home or in front of others.

 

Senior Associate, Melissa Jones comments “this is a very good initiative and practical step for victims of domestic abuse who are suffering  immensely and do not need the added stress of financial constraints when leaving their abuser.  With domestic abuse being linked to depression and homelessness, anything that can help to reduce both of these issues is very much needed. Hopefully this will provide immediate and swift assistance to those that need it”.  

If you believe you are, or someone you know is suffering from domestic abuse, then there are ways to help you, and them. At McAlister Family Law we can help victims of domestic abuse by advising them on the most appropriate course of action in their particular situation.

Anyone who requires help or support can contact the National Domestic Abuse Helpline which is open 24/7 365 days per year on 0808 2000 247 or via their website https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk

If you or someone you know is affected by the issues raised in this blog post, we can provide you with expert legal advice. For more information, please get in touch with our specialist team at hello@mcalisterfamilylaw.co.uk

Is a divorce on the cards for Kyle Walker and Annie Kilner?

Is a divorce on the cards for Kyle Walker and Annie Kilner?

After an Instagram story posted by Annie Kilner, it seems that Manchester City star Kyle Walker’s marriage to his childhood sweetheart is at an end. Here, Heather Lucy looks at what will happen if the couple do divorce, how the assets may be divided and how their children’s welfare will be taken into consideration.

On an Instagram story, Annie Kilner has said she is ‘taking some time away’ from her marriage to the football star and online communities are convinced that this means a divorce is on the cards. This seems all the more likely given that Walker has left the family home. Online publications are now speculating whether Kilner is going to have the ‘final revenge’ by seeking a financial settlement on divorce. Whilst this framing is not helpful in trying to have an amicable divorce (which is sensible especially when there are children involved), it does throw up some questions about what will happen to the couple’s finances if a divorce really is on the cards.

Walker and Kilner were married in 2021. On the face of it, it therefore sounds like their marriage was short-lived. This is relevant because the courts take into account the length of a marriage when dividing up matrimonial assets on divorce. They do not, however, limit this to the time since ‘I do’. The relevant timeframe is the length of time since the couple began to live together (if they did so without a break) to when they separated. Walker and Kilner reportedly dated for 12-13 years before they married, though when they first moved in together is not public knowledge.  This could, therefore, be an important distinction for the couple as it seems likely to take them from a short marriage to a long one which means that the court would be more likely to use an equal division of the matrimonial assets as a starting point. One fly in the ointment, however, might be the couple’s earlier split in 2019. Kilner will need to take some careful legal advice about this.

During the 2019 split, Walker met Lauryn Goodman who is a model and influencer. Together, they had a child, Kairo, and there are speculations that Goodman’s daughter (born in 2023) was also fathered by Walker. Walker and Kilner share three children together. When looking at the division of finances on divorce, the welfare of children of the family will be the court’s priority. Whilst Goodman’s child(ren) may not be considered ‘children of the family’ (which depends on whether they have been treated as such), Walker’s obligations to them are likely to feature heavily in any negotiations that take place.

The length of the marriage and the existence of children are just two of the factors that the court takes into account when considering the financial division between parties on divorce. Please see Fiona Wood’s article on section 25 of the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 to explore this in further detail.

Historically, Kilner would have been able to issue an application for divorce on the basis of Walker’s infidelity. This, however, changed in April 2022 when the no-fault divorce regime came into force. This means that the couple’s focus will remain on dividing their assets rather than trying to assign blame to each other for the breakdown of the marriage… in the courts at least. Hopefully, if the marriage has broken down irretrievably, both Walker and Kilner will take good legal advice and aim to reach a resolution in a way that will allow a positive co-parenting relationship for their children.

 

If you or someone you know is affected by the issues raised in this blog post, we can provide you with expert legal advice. For more information, please get in touch with our specialist team at hello@mcalisterfamilylaw.co.uk

Divorce Day: Why is January so popular for divorces?

Divorce Day: Why is January so popular for divorces?

It is a common belief and widely reported in the media that January is the most popular time of the year for married couples to start divorce proceedings. Here, McAlister Family Law Trainee, Adele Mawdsley, looks at some of the reasons why divorce rates are known to peak after the Christmas break.

 

Does Christmas Play A Part?

One suggestion is that there is a significant amount of stress on parents to create the ‘Perfect Christmas’ for their children. One of the biggest stresses in day-to-day life, especially at Christmas time, is financial stress.

Christmas time is hard on a lot of parents financially. According to the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysis, Money issues are responsible for 22% of all divorces, which can be magnified at Christmas especially with the ongoing cost of living crisis we are facing in the UK right now.

Couples may delay divorce proceedings until the new year to avoid disruption to their family. There can be a lot of pressure on couples, at Christmas, to look and act the part for their children and families. If you take away the Christmas gloss, couples may begin to notice substantial cracks in their relationship and the Christmas period can shine a light on their struggling situation, with them glad they made it through this period. Sadly, some come to the realisation that the marriage has come to an end.

The narrative of the media is that couples have admitted to staying with their other half for their children’s sake. Further to this couples have also reported in the media that they stay together for Christmas, so the children were not disturbed during the festive season. This could be why we see a significant rise in divorces on “Divorce Day” in January.

 

What is ‘Divorce Day’?

So-called “Divorce Day” falls on the first working Monday of the new year, this year it will fall on 8th January 2024. This day is known by legal professionals as the day which reportedly sees a surge of new enquires from couples who wish to apply for a divorce after the Christmas period. Statistics show that women are more likely to apply for divorce than men during this period, with 63.1% of divorces being instigated by women.

“Divorce Day” is a term used in the media to highlight the rise in cases in the new year but, obviously, divorces are issued all year round, with spikes being seen at other notable times of the year, like September after the summer holidays, for example. The rise in cases after school holidays may be because couples spend more time together then or they may have one last attempt at their marriage, which sadly has not worked.

 

Spending time with family

Some couples find it particularly hard to be cooped up at home, spending time with extended family members that they might not be used to spending time with, at Christmas time. The Christmas period can often highlight the realisation of how family life could be and what difficulties they are facing. This can put a lot of pressure on couples and, when the Christmas dust has settled, it  pushes some couples towards separation.

 

‘New Year New Me’

Everyone has their new year’s resolutions when we enter into a new year. People want a fresh start and if their marriage is already under strain, they may form a plan to separate. therefore leading to a potential spike in new divorce enquires in January.

 

Divorce

So, what do you do if you are thinking of separation or even divorce? Get advice from an expert. Our team of specialist divorce solicitors can advise you about the divorce procedure.

The new law divorce law, which came into force in April 2022, more commonly known as ‘No fault divorce’ removes the requirement to assign blame and provide evidence of conduct or separation to obtain a divorce. This will hopefully allow your divorce to be more amicable.

 

If you or someone you know is affected by the issues raised in this blog post, we can provide you with expert legal advice. For more information, please get in touch with our specialist team at hello@mcalisterfamilylaw.co.uk

Peaceful co-parenting at Christmas

Peaceful co-parenting at Christmas

As the festive season is rapidly approaching, most parents are busy planning the Christmas shop, visiting Santa and ensuring that the Christmas elves know what is on their children’s wish list. Here, Amanda McAlister, Managing Partner of McAlister Family Law, looks at the stresses of separated families over Christmas and offers her top tips for peaceful co-parenting.

For separated parents, deciding how the children are to spend their time over Christmas can be extremely stressful, especially when they do not agree.  If arrangements are not finalised before the festive break, this can lead to tensions becoming even more fraught, the result being that no one actually then looks forward to Christmas, never mind enjoying it.

As expert child and family lawyers, we are starting to see a significant increase in client enquiries surrounding Christmas contact.    Such enquiries vary from how a parent can prevent the other from seeing the children, to imposing a contact arrangement that is unfair to the other.  As Christmas is the most magical time of the year, emotions are high, and people do tend to become entrenched in their positions.

I am a divorce parent with two children.  I share care with my ex-husband and therefore have experience not only as a children lawyer but also as a parent who does not always see my children on Christmas day.  I recently appeared on the BBC Morning Live programme to talk about my top tips for peaceful parenting over the festive period which are:

 

Children come first.

Remember that Christmas is about what is right for the children.  Not what is right for you personally, Grandma or Christmas routines that have previously been in place.  Children can adapt and should grow up having memories of special times with both parents.  Not just one.

 

Santa can multitask.

With notification, Santa can multitask and deliver presents to multiple addresses.

Whilst the law does not set out precise rules on how contact should be divided, the view is that children should spend Christmas with both parents.   This can be achieved by one parent having Christmas Eve until 2pm on Christmas day and the other having the rest of the time on Christmas day through to the 27th of December.  This arrangement would then be alternated the following year.

For those that don’t relish the thought of a child’s Christmas day being interrupted by going to the other parents halfway through the day, they can agree an arrangement which will involve the children spending Christmas Eve to Boxing day with one parent and then boxing day through to the 27th or 28th with the other.  Again, this is alternated.  This has always worked for my children as they then get to relax and enjoy presents for the whole day and are less grumpy on boxing day when they come to me or go to their dads.

 

Grow with the children.

Arrangements that were right for a child at 4 years of age may not be right for when they are 14.   Trying to force arrangements on older children can create further upset and distress which should be avoided.  If you have teenage children, talk to them about what would work for them.  This way they feel that they are being listened to and will actually engage in the family celebrations.

 

Christmas giving

Whilst relations with your ex may still be raw or tense, it is important that this is not seen or felt by the children.  If they know that one parent is not happy with the arrangements and makes that clear verbally or through actions, it will impact on the children’s ability to relax and have a good time.  This can have consequences in terms of how a child in the long run will recollect their enjoyment of Christmas.  Always try to buy a small gift for the children to take to the other parent’s house and encourage them to write a nice card to take with them.  That way the children feel that they have the endorsement of the parent that they are not with that day to have a good time.

 

Co-parenting can be tough but if you always have what is right for the children at the forefront of your mind you will get it right.  My son is now approaching 15years of age.  He regularly reminds his father and I that we are an “embarrassment” and “sad”.  The message that I am trying to get across, is that time flies and before you know it, they do not really want to spend time with either parent.  The creation of special memories is what life is about and finding peace is the key to that.

If you or someone you know is affected by the issues raised in this blog post, we can provide you with expert legal advice. For more information, please get in touch with our specialist team at hello@mcalisterfamilylaw.co.uk

A loving home – best Christmas present ever

A loving home – best Christmas present ever

One year ago, John Lewis’ Christmas advert aimed to shine a light on the importance of foster carers, yet new figures from OFSTED have shown a loss of foster care families and an increase in children being placed far from home. Here, Nick Hodson looks at the situation and how The Department of Education plans to turn it around.

Let me take you back 12 months to the 2022 John Lewis Christmas advert. In it, a middle-aged man is on a mission to learn how to skateboard. He spends weeks trying to master this difficult skill and suffers some bumps and bruises along the way. It is revealed at the end of the advert what his hard work was all about. Along with his partner, he was expecting the arrival of a foster child, Ellie, who loves to skateboard. Ellie was nervous at first about the new house but softens when she spots the carer’s skateboard and poorly arm. His hard work was designed to make Ellie feel comfortable in her new home.

This week, new figures from OFSTED, have shown that there has been a net loss of 1,000 foster care families in the past year and a record number of children being placed far from home. Social workers have described scrambling to find friends and family to take children in urgent need of safety and reported that children are sometimes placed in hotels.

It is estimated that 6,000 new foster families will be needed to meet rising demand.

“We need a lot more foster carers,” said John Pearce, the president of the Association of Directors of Children’s Services. “You used to be able to get a place quickly for younger children. But in significant parts of the country that’s not the case anymore, and that’s driven by a significant increase in the children coming into care.”

In some cases, councils lacking local foster vacancies are sending children hundreds of miles away, breaking family and school ties. There has been a 7% increase in the number of children in care since 2019 in England. But in the past year almost twice as many households quit mainstream fostering than joined. Reasons cited include the rising cost of looking after children and older foster parents choosing to quit after the pandemic.

 

The Department of Education is launching a £27m recruitment and retention programme, which began in September in the north-east, where demand has soared, and will spread to more than half of England’s local authorities from next April.

One of the joys of representing children is seeing the impact of a positive foster placement on the child’s wellbeing. It can provide them with the safety, stability, and love that they might been deprived of by their birth families. For older children, it can give them the best platform to enter adulthood.

Let us hope that the new campaign will bring the thousands of new families into the fostering system and that many more children like Ellie can live in safe and loving homes.

If you or someone you know is affected by the issues raised in this blog post, we can provide you with expert legal advice. For more information, please get in touch with our specialist team at hello@mcalisterfamilylaw.co.uk

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