Separated Parents: Contact in the Easter Holidays

Posted on 28th March 2024 by McAlister Family Law

Separated Parents: Contact in the Easter Holidays

Over a quarter of families living in the UK are separated families who are adopting the skills of co-parenting, which itself is a learning curve. School holidays can always be a challenging time to get the balance of co-parenting right. Parents may feel pressure to ensure that holidays are memorable and struggle to know what the best arrangements might be. Here, Charlotte Brenton looks at if it is possible to make it work for both parents and the children over the Easter Break.

It is important for parents to remain child focused, work together and always consider what is in the best interest of the children.

Here are some steps families can take to positively co-parent during the Easter holidays.

Ask your children what they want

Children should grow up having special memories with both parents including in the Easter holidays which is an exciting time for them. If they are old enough, they should have an input as to how they want to spend their time in the holidays.

Parenting Plan

A parenting plan is a great way of planning ahead so parents are not left fearing the unknown when school holidays are approaching. Parenting plans are often recommended by Cafcass (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service). They are a written agreement between both parents which cover practical issues for the children. It can be tailored to include the term time and holidays including Easter. It allows parents to put the children’s needs first and allows quality time with both parents for the children.

Communication

It is important that parents are open, clear and respectful whilst communicating about arrangements. There are many ways parents can communicate and this is down to the individuals. Courts are currently particularly keen on separated parents using co-parenting apps to assist with their communication. The apps include shared calendars and secure communication.

Encouragement

However difficult, the general view is that parents should always try to encourage contact between the children and the other parent unless there are real concerns about risk. Consistency and patience is key whilst allowing the children to adapt to any new arrangements. Whilst it may not always be smooth sailing the aim is to allow your children to make positive memories in the Easter holidays.

Other options available

If you are struggling to resolve child arrangements, there are always other options available.

Mediation can be helpful. This allows parents to talk through the issues they are facing with a neutral impartial third party.

Another option, where mediation isn’t appropriate or hasn’t worked is to use legal professionals to try and resolve matters.

If you are making no progress, or where there are real concerns or urgent issues, you can apply to court to make a decision. The court will decide based on what it believes is in the child or children’s best interests.

If you need advice on this topic, or any other matters concerning divorce or family law, please get in touch with our team at McAlister Family Law.

How the Metaverse may change the way separated parents spend time with their children.

Posted on 24th November 202225th November 2022 by McAlister Family Law

How the Metaverse may change the way separated parents spend time with their children.

We have all had to adjust to a very different way of life since the pandemic hit and the world has learnt to embrace a more “remote” approach to our day-to-day existence. Here, Nicola Bradley looks at the role the metaverse could play in the time parents can spend with their children.

Whilst most of our daily lives are now continuing as they were pre-pandemic; our tech giants have not lost their enthusiasm for expanding our virtual world. Earlier this year, Mark Zuckerburg announced the creation of a new remote platform that he promises will be revolutionary and life changing for us all. That platform is the Metaverse. Whilst video calls over skype, WhatsApp and Zoom are a widely and commonly used way of separated parents connecting with their children, the Metaverse promises to take this one-dimensional way of interacting and turn it on its head. It sounds fascinating but the question is, will the Metaverse actually change the way parents approach arrangements for spending time with their children, and can this new platform ever be a real (or even preferred) alternative to face to face time in “the real world”.

The Metaverse may sound mysterious but in reality, it is simply the internet but in 3D. It is a virtual reality world parallel to the physical one we all live in and will become home to digital avatars of yourself, your family, work colleagues and friends. For a parent that lives in a different country to the children and perhaps only see their children face to face a handful of times each year, this could be a really wonderful way of connecting with their little ones. Mark Zuckerberg’s “Quest Pro” virtual reality headset merges digital content with your real life surroundings, which could truly transform parenting from a distance and raise the quality of indirect contact in a way we have not imagined to be possible until now.

The Metaverse is not yet up and running however and still in the embryonic stages of existence with some worrying issues that would need to be ironed out before it could ever be considered and safe and secure platform of communication between parents and children. Meta (formerly Facebook) currently has one virtual reality world known as Horizon, and Horizon has already come under criticism for reports of avatars behaving violently. The internet is a difficult place to manage for children at the best of times and this new platform of communication certainly raises key issues regarding the safety of children online and how parents will be able to manage that.

Modern families do need modern ways of spending time with each other, but the fast development of communication technology can be both a blessing and a curse. Should the vision for the Metaverse be realised, virtual reality is likely to become a heavy feature in our everyday lives and it will doubtless be used by parents as a means to play, engage and spend time with their children. It could be no replacement, however, for going on real life adventures and a cuddle at night time when putting your children to bed. The development of the Metaverse will certainly be interesting to watch, but its replacement for face-to-face relationships remains unconvincing.

What happens to ashes and other remains?

Posted on 26th October 202224th January 2023 by McAlister Family Law

What happens to ashes and other remains?

Ryan Murphy’s true-crime series about Jeffrey Dahmer was watched for 196.2 million hours in its first week on streaming platform Netflix. Clearly, the shocking story about the horrific actions of Dahmer have had global audiences gripped. In amongst the tales about his victims, a relatively normal scene stood out to McAlister Family Law Associate, George Wilson, for reasons that many may have overlooked.

Towards the end of the series, after Dahmer has been killed in prison, the show depicts the scene of his separated parents arguing over what should happen to his remains. Dahmer’s father wished for his entire body to be cremated as per his son’s wishes. Dahmer’s mother, on the other hand, held the position that her son’s brain should be donated to University for scientific purposes. Thus, the question still stands; what happens to the remains of a person in the context of either separated parents, spouses, or anyone else for that matter. Although this topic is rather macabre, it presents itself in more cases than the general public could ever imagine.

Naturally, the death of one’s child (or significant loved one) is something that none of us would ever wish and is heart-breaking to even think of. But what happens to their remains? Does someone have more of a right to the remains than another person, for example in an urn?

The basic starting point is that a body, or the remains of one, is not property and the person who is entitled to the possession of a remains is the person who is under a duty to dispose of the body. If a body is cremated, the crematorium authority must hand over the ashes to the person who delivered the body to them. Generally speaking, there is the rule of ‘no property in a corpse’. It is not possible for a body to be gifted, or disposed of by a will, bought by one person, or sold by another. It is permitted, in statute, that the body, or part thereof, can be donated for medicine or science.

Firstly, a hospital has the right to detain a body if it is considered infectious, or if the person has passed away from a number of diseases. The coroner then has the right to take possession of the body, albeit temporarily, in order to determine the cause of death. Then, if there is a will, the person entitled to possession is the named executor of the will. In scenarios where a will is not present, the person who has the priority on intestacy will have possession and, under a very distinct set of rules, the parents of a minor child will have a duty to arrange a child’s funeral. To complicate matters even further, the case of R v Kelly held that it was possible for there to be property rights over ashes of the deceased on the basis that they have different attributes following an application of skill – that skill being the act of cremation. Notwithstanding this, this will only apply in a very specific set of cases.

It is the sad truth that, as in many family disputes involving items much less sacred than the body of a loved one, many simply cannot agree on what happens next. Some would consider that the caring of the body would fall to the next of kin, surviving spouse, parent, or other close family member. It is vital that these issues are dealt with by employing compassion and respect, both for the living and the dead, and to attempt to resolve any family dispute.

Back to school – choosing a school between separated parents

Posted on 4th October 202224th January 2023 by McAlister Family Law

Back to school – choosing a school between separated parents

This time of year, Instagram is full to the brim of ‘first day of school’ pictures, whether it’s a brand-new school or little ones progressing to the next year. But choosing which school a child attends, especially between separated parents, can be an exceptionally difficult process. Here, Ruth Hetherington looks at what the Court may decide if separated parents can’t see eye to eye.

A child’s first day of school is no doubt a big day, whether it’s their first experience of school or going back after the holidays. It is the start of something new for both parents and for the child, a new chapter, either the start of their life in education or progression onto the next phase

The decision of which school a child shall attend is of fundamental importance. It will hopefully provide stability and security for the child during their childhood, and it will

no doubt shapes the child so as to inform their own decision making as an adult. Lifelong friendships will also be formed and therefore how your child progresses through their informative years of education can be a difficult and stressful decision for parents, particularly if there are separated and have different views on how their child should be educated.

Despite the importance that surrounds the decision of which school a child shall attend, sadly it is all too common for one parent to unilaterally make that decision which can be wholly wrong and at times unlawful. If both parents share parental responsibility, they then have a right to have a say in the decision-making process of how and where their child should be educated. This can often be an arduous task for parents, especially if one parent attempts to enrol a child into a school where the consent of the other parent has now been sought or secured.

If you share Parental Responsibility with the other parent , you should consult each other in respect of big decisions that relate to the wellbeing of your child. The decision of which educational placement a child shall attend is a decision where both parents’ views should be ascertained with careful consideration being given to both sides.

If you cannot agree which school your child is to attend, then you should make an application for a Specific Issue Order. This means that the Court is being asked to make the decision for the parents. If one parent tries to make the decision unilaterally, then you could be faced making an application to the Court for a Prohibited Steps Order, preventing the enrolment of your child in the chosen school of the other parent..

If the decision relating to a child’s school are put before the Court, the matter then becomes a question of what is best for the child and not what is best for the parents. The Court’s primary consideration will be the needs of the child having regard to the Welfare Checklist (s.1 (3) Children Act 1989) when reaching their decisions. A change of school will undoubtedly bring disruption and upheaval to a child’s life. Their support network and friendships may be broken especially if any change requires either party to relocate. Relocation brings another added complexity to these decisions, as they may also affect the time that one parent spends with their child. These decisions should not be taken lightly and wherever possible an agreed approach between the parents is preferable to a Court making the decision. However sadly we see this scenario on a regular basis and detailed and clear legal advice is also crucial.

The above issues identified are simply the ‘tip of the iceberg’ and of course there are other factors to consider including the ascertainable wishes and feelings of the child, dependant of the age of the child. But they demonstrate why big decisions need and require careful deliberation with the views of both parents being respected and considered.