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Whilst Mother’s Day is a special time of year, celebrating the enduring love and connection between mothers and their children, for many families, it can be a difficult day. Here, Charlotte Procter looks at how communication, flexibility and planning can keep the best interest of the Child/ren at heart when Co-parenting on Mother’s Day.

There are now over 2.5 million separated families in the UK and this occasion can especially present practical challenges and emotional complexities for families post-separation.

Research consistently underscores the benefits of children maintaining positive relationships with both parents post-separation. These benefits include improved emotional resilience, academic performance, and overall well-being.

It is important that parents remain focused on what is best for the children and take into consideration their wishes and feelings. It is also important to bear in mind the emotional impact on the child if they were not to see their mother on Mother’s Day, and equally if they were not able to see their father on Father’s Day.

An unamicable breakup can involve emotions and resentment. It is important for parents not to allow these feelings to impact their child’s relationship with their other parent. If a child is aware of hostility between their parents, this can have a negative impact on their relationship with their parents.

Special occasions such as Mother’s Day can often be overlooked by parents when making agreements in relation to contact, and making these agreements can be a big task for parents who are not on amicable terms.

 

Planning in Advance

It is therefore beneficial that discussions about special occasions are had in advance, allowing arrangements to be made in enough time. Having a clear and agreed plan will benefit the children and remove any uncertainty.

 

Communication is Key

It is also important that parents maintain open and respectful communication whilst making these arrangements. Co-parenting apps, such as talking parents, can assist parents in agreeing contact arrangements for the children.

 

Remain Flexible

Parents will need to remain flexible with the arrangements made and ensure they remain child focused as changes may need to be made to these arrangements as the children get older.

It may be that the parents already have an agreement in place and Mother’s Day may fall on a day when the child is meant to be with their father. It may therefore be necessary for parents to swap or change weekends to allow the child to spend time with their mother on Mother’s Day, and equally for them to spend time with their father on Father’s Day.

These arrangements can be even more difficult for LGBTQ families as they may need to consider whether to split the day or alternate years.

 

Encouragement

It is important for parents to support their children in expressing their love and appreciation for their other parent on special occasions, and if they are able to, to help them plan thoughtful gestures or gifts.

Another important consideration is ensuring that children feel like they have the endorsement of the other parent to have a good time, to enable them to make positive memories on important special occasions like Mother’s Day.

 

Other Options Available

If parents cannot reach an agreement between themselves, going to mediation may be useful. This is a cheaper alternative than going to court and the mediators can help the parents to reach an agreement.

Another useful option, before considering seeking assistance from the courts, may be to seek advice from a qualified solicitor or legal professional.

However, in situations where an agreement has broken down or cannot be reached, it may be necessary for parents to look to the family to court to help them define the time that the children spend with each parent. The child’s welfare is of paramount importance within the family court and so, as part of the court procedures, the child’s wishes and feeling are taken into account.

 

Regardless of how parents may feel about one another co-parenting is a collaborative effort. By prioritising open communication and making practical agreements, separated parents can create meaningful Mother’s Day celebrations ensuring their children make positive memories with both parents.

 

If you need advice on this topic, or any other matters concerning divorce or family law, please get in touch with our team at McAlister Family Law.