Separated Parents: Contact in the Easter Holidays

Posted on 28th March 2024 by McAlister Family Law

Separated Parents: Contact in the Easter Holidays

Over a quarter of families living in the UK are separated families who are adopting the skills of co-parenting, which itself is a learning curve. School holidays can always be a challenging time to get the balance of co-parenting right. Parents may feel pressure to ensure that holidays are memorable and struggle to know what the best arrangements might be. Here, Charlotte Brenton looks at if it is possible to make it work for both parents and the children over the Easter Break.

It is important for parents to remain child focused, work together and always consider what is in the best interest of the children.

Here are some steps families can take to positively co-parent during the Easter holidays.

Ask your children what they want

Children should grow up having special memories with both parents including in the Easter holidays which is an exciting time for them. If they are old enough, they should have an input as to how they want to spend their time in the holidays.

Parenting Plan

A parenting plan is a great way of planning ahead so parents are not left fearing the unknown when school holidays are approaching. Parenting plans are often recommended by Cafcass (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service). They are a written agreement between both parents which cover practical issues for the children. It can be tailored to include the term time and holidays including Easter. It allows parents to put the children’s needs first and allows quality time with both parents for the children.

Communication

It is important that parents are open, clear and respectful whilst communicating about arrangements. There are many ways parents can communicate and this is down to the individuals. Courts are currently particularly keen on separated parents using co-parenting apps to assist with their communication. The apps include shared calendars and secure communication.

Encouragement

However difficult, the general view is that parents should always try to encourage contact between the children and the other parent unless there are real concerns about risk. Consistency and patience is key whilst allowing the children to adapt to any new arrangements. Whilst it may not always be smooth sailing the aim is to allow your children to make positive memories in the Easter holidays.

Other options available

If you are struggling to resolve child arrangements, there are always other options available.

Mediation can be helpful. This allows parents to talk through the issues they are facing with a neutral impartial third party.

Another option, where mediation isn’t appropriate or hasn’t worked is to use legal professionals to try and resolve matters.

If you are making no progress, or where there are real concerns or urgent issues, you can apply to court to make a decision. The court will decide based on what it believes is in the child or children’s best interests.

If you need advice on this topic, or any other matters concerning divorce or family law, please get in touch with our team at McAlister Family Law.

Co-parenting on Mother’s Day

Posted on 7th March 20247th March 2024 by McAlister Family Law

Co-parenting on Mother’s Day

Whilst Mother’s Day is a special time of year, celebrating the enduring love and connection between mothers and their children, for many families, it can be a difficult day. Here, Charlotte Procter looks at how communication, flexibility and planning can keep the best interest of the Child/ren at heart when Co-parenting on Mother’s Day.

There are now over 2.5 million separated families in the UK and this occasion can especially present practical challenges and emotional complexities for families post-separation.

Research consistently underscores the benefits of children maintaining positive relationships with both parents post-separation. These benefits include improved emotional resilience, academic performance, and overall well-being.

It is important that parents remain focused on what is best for the children and take into consideration their wishes and feelings. It is also important to bear in mind the emotional impact on the child if they were not to see their mother on Mother’s Day, and equally if they were not able to see their father on Father’s Day.

An unamicable breakup can involve emotions and resentment. It is important for parents not to allow these feelings to impact their child’s relationship with their other parent. If a child is aware of hostility between their parents, this can have a negative impact on their relationship with their parents.

Special occasions such as Mother’s Day can often be overlooked by parents when making agreements in relation to contact, and making these agreements can be a big task for parents who are not on amicable terms.

Planning in Advance

It is therefore beneficial that discussions about special occasions are had in advance, allowing arrangements to be made in enough time. Having a clear and agreed plan will benefit the children and remove any uncertainty.

Communication is Key

It is also important that parents maintain open and respectful communication whilst making these arrangements. Co-parenting apps, such as talking parents, can assist parents in agreeing contact arrangements for the children.

Remain Flexible

Parents will need to remain flexible with the arrangements made and ensure they remain child focused as changes may need to be made to these arrangements as the children get older.

It may be that the parents already have an agreement in place and Mother’s Day may fall on a day when the child is meant to be with their father. It may therefore be necessary for parents to swap or change weekends to allow the child to spend time with their mother on Mother’s Day, and equally for them to spend time with their father on Father’s Day.

These arrangements can be even more difficult for LGBTQ families as they may need to consider whether to split the day or alternate years.

Encouragement

It is important for parents to support their children in expressing their love and appreciation for their other parent on special occasions, and if they are able to, to help them plan thoughtful gestures or gifts.

Another important consideration is ensuring that children feel like they have the endorsement of the other parent to have a good time, to enable them to make positive memories on important special occasions like Mother’s Day.

Other Options Available

If parents cannot reach an agreement between themselves, going to mediation may be useful. This is a cheaper alternative than going to court and the mediators can help the parents to reach an agreement.

Another useful option, before considering seeking assistance from the courts, may be to seek advice from a qualified solicitor or legal professional.

However, in situations where an agreement has broken down or cannot be reached, it may be necessary for parents to look to the family to court to help them define the time that the children spend with each parent. The child’s welfare is of paramount importance within the family court and so, as part of the court procedures, the child’s wishes and feeling are taken into account.

Regardless of how parents may feel about one another co-parenting is a collaborative effort. By prioritising open communication and making practical agreements, separated parents can create meaningful Mother’s Day celebrations ensuring their children make positive memories with both parents.

If you need advice on this topic, or any other matters concerning divorce or family law, please get in touch with our team at McAlister Family Law.

How the Metaverse may change the way separated parents spend time with their children.

Posted on 24th November 202225th November 2022 by McAlister Family Law

How the Metaverse may change the way separated parents spend time with their children.

We have all had to adjust to a very different way of life since the pandemic hit and the world has learnt to embrace a more “remote” approach to our day-to-day existence. Here, Nicola Bradley looks at the role the metaverse could play in the time parents can spend with their children.

Whilst most of our daily lives are now continuing as they were pre-pandemic; our tech giants have not lost their enthusiasm for expanding our virtual world. Earlier this year, Mark Zuckerburg announced the creation of a new remote platform that he promises will be revolutionary and life changing for us all. That platform is the Metaverse. Whilst video calls over skype, WhatsApp and Zoom are a widely and commonly used way of separated parents connecting with their children, the Metaverse promises to take this one-dimensional way of interacting and turn it on its head. It sounds fascinating but the question is, will the Metaverse actually change the way parents approach arrangements for spending time with their children, and can this new platform ever be a real (or even preferred) alternative to face to face time in “the real world”.

The Metaverse may sound mysterious but in reality, it is simply the internet but in 3D. It is a virtual reality world parallel to the physical one we all live in and will become home to digital avatars of yourself, your family, work colleagues and friends. For a parent that lives in a different country to the children and perhaps only see their children face to face a handful of times each year, this could be a really wonderful way of connecting with their little ones. Mark Zuckerberg’s “Quest Pro” virtual reality headset merges digital content with your real life surroundings, which could truly transform parenting from a distance and raise the quality of indirect contact in a way we have not imagined to be possible until now.

The Metaverse is not yet up and running however and still in the embryonic stages of existence with some worrying issues that would need to be ironed out before it could ever be considered and safe and secure platform of communication between parents and children. Meta (formerly Facebook) currently has one virtual reality world known as Horizon, and Horizon has already come under criticism for reports of avatars behaving violently. The internet is a difficult place to manage for children at the best of times and this new platform of communication certainly raises key issues regarding the safety of children online and how parents will be able to manage that.

Modern families do need modern ways of spending time with each other, but the fast development of communication technology can be both a blessing and a curse. Should the vision for the Metaverse be realised, virtual reality is likely to become a heavy feature in our everyday lives and it will doubtless be used by parents as a means to play, engage and spend time with their children. It could be no replacement, however, for going on real life adventures and a cuddle at night time when putting your children to bed. The development of the Metaverse will certainly be interesting to watch, but its replacement for face-to-face relationships remains unconvincing.

A Child’s Wishes and Feelings in Children Act Proceedings

Posted on 26th May 2022 by McAlister Family Law

A Child’s Wishes and Feelings in Children Act Proceedings

When proceedings concerning a child need to be issued at Court it can not only feel like an arduous task, but also overwhelming in an already worrying time. Here, Jemma Wentworth looks at how the wishes and feelings of a child are taken into consideration when a court decides what is in their best interest, and how factors such as age and understanding play a role in the decision-making process.

Proceedings may be necessitated for various reasons, for example, the need to define the time that the child spends with both parents, to address a specific issue surrounding the child such as changing their name or deciding which school they should attend, or even to determining whether permission should be given for leaving the jurisdiction.

Within Children Act proceedings, and as part of the Court process, the child’s welfare is of paramount importance and various factors need to be taken into account. These factors form the ‘Welfare Checklist’ and one of these factors is the ascertainable wishes and feelings of the child concerned, considered in light of their age and understanding.

If there is a disagreement between parents or those with parental responsibility, the Court may be asked to make decisions. In doing so, the Courts overriding objective is what is in the child’s best interests? Often, the most effective way to ascertain this is to speak with the child. This is where the child’s age and understanding plays particular significance.

An organisation called CAFCASS, the Child and Family Court Advisory and Support Service, shall be appointed by the Court and the officer dealing with the case shall speak with the child as part of the assessment process. In so doing, consideration of the Welfare Checklist forms their role, and the officer shall give full consideration to each individual child’s ability to express their view in light of their age and understanding.

Children as young as four or five shall be spoken to by the CAFCASS officer, but it shall be fully appreciated that a child of such young age is clearly limited in terms of their ability to communicate or form a viewpoint on significant life matters. Generally speaking, the older a child becomes, the more their expressed views will have relevance to the decision-making process.

Generally speaking, by the time a child is approaching High School age their viewpoint will be competently and pragmatically considered by CAFCASS, who in turn will file a report to assist the Court. Each case is determined on its own merit, but the important factor is not only a child’s age, but also their level of maturity and understanding of what is being proposed and how such decisions will affect them. These are all considerations that will be considered by CAFCASS within their report for the Court.

However, it is important to remember that not every child is the same and every case will be different. These issues need to be discussed openly by the parents with an understanding that just because a child may express a certain view, does not automatically mean that the Court will make an Order on that basis. The voice of the child is critically important to the Court, and it is only right that the child should be able to say what they would wish the Court to order. However, it is a balance of factors that the Court must take into account, and the ascertainable wishes and feelings of a child is only one of those factors. The older the child, the more the Court will consider their wishes and feelings in their decision making.

It is also incredibly important for parents to be mindful that regardless of where their child is at, developmentally, intellectually and emotionally, it is the Court who ultimately makes the decisions and therefore providing a child with the burden of the decision making could have a negative impact upon them as for some children that burden of having to ‘choose’ between parents is ultimately too much for them to carry.

If parents, and those with parental responsibility, are unable to agree important decisions for a child’s future, the Family Court alongside the involvement of CAFCASS, may well be the last resort. Having the right support and the right legal advice is crucial. Here at McAlister Family Law we have an experienced and large Children Team who will be able to navigate you through what can be a difficult and emotionally charged process.