Separated Parents: Contact in the Easter Holidays

Posted on 28th March 2024 by McAlister Family Law

Separated Parents: Contact in the Easter Holidays

Over a quarter of families living in the UK are separated families who are adopting the skills of co-parenting, which itself is a learning curve. School holidays can always be a challenging time to get the balance of co-parenting right. Parents may feel pressure to ensure that holidays are memorable and struggle to know what the best arrangements might be. Here, Charlotte Brenton looks at if it is possible to make it work for both parents and the children over the Easter Break.

It is important for parents to remain child focused, work together and always consider what is in the best interest of the children.

Here are some steps families can take to positively co-parent during the Easter holidays.

Ask your children what they want

Children should grow up having special memories with both parents including in the Easter holidays which is an exciting time for them. If they are old enough, they should have an input as to how they want to spend their time in the holidays.

Parenting Plan

A parenting plan is a great way of planning ahead so parents are not left fearing the unknown when school holidays are approaching. Parenting plans are often recommended by Cafcass (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service). They are a written agreement between both parents which cover practical issues for the children. It can be tailored to include the term time and holidays including Easter. It allows parents to put the children’s needs first and allows quality time with both parents for the children.

Communication

It is important that parents are open, clear and respectful whilst communicating about arrangements. There are many ways parents can communicate and this is down to the individuals. Courts are currently particularly keen on separated parents using co-parenting apps to assist with their communication. The apps include shared calendars and secure communication.

Encouragement

However difficult, the general view is that parents should always try to encourage contact between the children and the other parent unless there are real concerns about risk. Consistency and patience is key whilst allowing the children to adapt to any new arrangements. Whilst it may not always be smooth sailing the aim is to allow your children to make positive memories in the Easter holidays.

Other options available

If you are struggling to resolve child arrangements, there are always other options available.

Mediation can be helpful. This allows parents to talk through the issues they are facing with a neutral impartial third party.

Another option, where mediation isn’t appropriate or hasn’t worked is to use legal professionals to try and resolve matters.

If you are making no progress, or where there are real concerns or urgent issues, you can apply to court to make a decision. The court will decide based on what it believes is in the child or children’s best interests.

If you need advice on this topic, or any other matters concerning divorce or family law, please get in touch with our team at McAlister Family Law.

Peaceful co-parenting at Christmas

Posted on 11th December 2023 by McAlister Family Law

Peaceful co-parenting at Christmas

As the festive season is rapidly approaching, most parents are busy planning the Christmas shop, visiting Santa and ensuring that the Christmas elves know what is on their children’s wish list. Here, Amanda McAlister, Managing Partner of McAlister Family Law, looks at the stresses of separated families over Christmas and offers her top tips for peaceful co-parenting.

For separated parents, deciding how the children are to spend their time over Christmas can be extremely stressful, especially when they do not agree. If arrangements are not finalised before the festive break, this can lead to tensions becoming even more fraught, the result being that no one actually then looks forward to Christmas, never mind enjoying it.

As expert child and family lawyers, we are starting to see a significant increase in client enquiries surrounding Christmas contact. Such enquiries vary from how a parent can prevent the other from seeing the children, to imposing a contact arrangement that is unfair to the other. As Christmas is the most magical time of the year, emotions are high, and people do tend to become entrenched in their positions.

I am a divorce parent with two children. I share care with my ex-husband and therefore have experience not only as a children lawyer but also as a parent who does not always see my children on Christmas day. I recently appeared on the BBC Morning Live programme to talk about my top tips for peaceful parenting over the festive period which are:

Children come first.

Remember that Christmas is about what is right for the children. Not what is right for you personally, Grandma or Christmas routines that have previously been in place. Children can adapt and should grow up having memories of special times with both parents. Not just one.

Santa can multitask.

With notification, Santa can multitask and deliver presents to multiple addresses.

Whilst the law does not set out precise rules on how contact should be divided, the view is that children should spend Christmas with both parents. This can be achieved by one parent having Christmas Eve until 2pm on Christmas day and the other having the rest of the time on Christmas day through to the 27^thof December. This arrangement would then be alternated the following year.

For those that don’t relish the thought of a child’s Christmas day being interrupted by going to the other parents halfway through the day, they can agree an arrangement which will involve the children spending Christmas Eve to Boxing day with one parent and then boxing day through to the 27^th or 28^th with the other. Again, this is alternated. This has always worked for my children as they then get to relax and enjoy presents for the whole day and are less grumpy on boxing day when they come to me or go to their dads.

Grow with the children.

Arrangements that were right for a child at 4 years of age may not be right for when they are 14. Trying to force arrangements on older children can create further upset and distress which should be avoided. If you have teenage children, talk to them about what would work for them. This way they feel that they are being listened to and will actually engage in the family celebrations.

Christmas giving

Whilst relations with your ex may still be raw or tense, it is important that this is not seen or felt by the children. If they know that one parent is not happy with the arrangements and makes that clear verbally or through actions, it will impact on the children’s ability to relax and have a good time. This can have consequences in terms of how a child in the long run will recollect their enjoyment of Christmas. Always try to buy a small gift for the children to take to the other parent’s house and encourage them to write a nice card to take with them. That way the children feel that they have the endorsement of the parent that they are not with that day to have a good time.

Co-parenting can be tough but if you always have what is right for the children at the forefront of your mind you will get it right. My son is now approaching 15years of age. He regularly reminds his father and I that we are an “embarrassment” and “sad”. The message that I am trying to get across, is that time flies and before you know it, they do not really want to spend time with either parent. The creation of special memories is what life is about and finding peace is the key to that.

If you or someone you know is affected by the issues raised in this blog post, we can provide you with expert legal advice. For more information, please get in touch with our specialist team at hello@mcalisterfamilylaw.co.uk

A loving home – best Christmas present ever

Posted on 6th December 2023 by McAlister Family Law

A loving home – best Christmas present ever

One year ago, John Lewis’ Christmas advert aimed to shine a light on the importance of foster carers, yet new figures from OFSTED have shown a loss of foster care families and an increase in children being placed far from home. Here, Nick Hodson looks at the situation and how The Department of Education plans to turn it around.

Let me take you back 12 months to the 2022 John Lewis Christmas advert. In it, a middle-aged man is on a mission to learn how to skateboard. He spends weeks trying to master this difficult skill and suffers some bumps and bruises along the way. It is revealed at the end of the advert what his hard work was all about. Along with his partner, he was expecting the arrival of a foster child, Ellie, who loves to skateboard. Ellie was nervous at first about the new house but softens when she spots the carer’s skateboard and poorly arm. His hard work was designed to make Ellie feel comfortable in her new home.

This week, new figures from OFSTED, have shown that there has been a net loss of 1,000 foster care families in the past year and a record number of children being placed far from home. Social workers have described scrambling to find friends and family to take children in urgent need of safety and reported that children are sometimes placed in hotels.

It is estimated that 6,000 new foster families will be needed to meet rising demand.

“We need a lot more foster carers,” said John Pearce, the president of the Association of Directors of Children’s Services. “You used to be able to get a place quickly for younger children. But in significant parts of the country that’s not the case anymore, and that’s driven by a significant increase in the children coming into care.”

In some cases, councils lacking local foster vacancies are sending children hundreds of miles away, breaking family and school ties. There has been a 7% increase in the number of children in care since 2019 in England. But in the past year almost twice as many households quit mainstream fostering than joined. Reasons cited include the rising cost of looking after children and older foster parents choosing to quit after the pandemic.

The Department of Education is launching a £27m recruitment and retention programme, which began in September in the north-east, where demand has soared, and will spread to more than half of England’s local authorities from next April.

One of the joys of representing children is seeing the impact of a positive foster placement on the child’s wellbeing. It can provide them with the safety, stability, and love that they might been deprived of by their birth families. For older children, it can give them the best platform to enter adulthood.

Let us hope that the new campaign will bring the thousands of new families into the fostering system and that many more children like Ellie can live in safe and loving homes.

What is co-parenting and how does it work?

Posted on 27th November 2023 by McAlister Family Law

What is co-parenting and how does it work?

If you have recently separated from your partner and trying to navigate the arrangements for your child(ren) you might have heard the word “co-parenting” and wondered what it means. Here, Melissa Jones, Senior Associate at McAlister Family Law, looks at the term and how it applies it practice.

What is co-parenting?

Cafcass, the advisory service to the court, describe co-parenting as “‘Co-parent’ is a shortened version of ‘co-operative parent’, and co-operation is essential to making things work well for children”.

A few examples of co-parenting are:

Using positive language about the other parent.
Avoid using the term ‘my child’ and instead use ‘our child/children’
Sharing information about your child with the other parent
Avoid involving the children in adult issues that do not concern them or using the children as a ‘go-between’

It is always worth remembering that despite however much we plan for something, things might not work out in the way we want them. Expect a few bumps along the way, as you and the other parent get used to sharing the responsibility for the children.

Can co-parenting really work?

Co-parenting is something that needs time to embed but there is no reason why it cannot work for families.

Take former England Rugby player Ben Foden and his former partner, Una Healey from the Saturdays for example. They have two children aged 11 and 8 and Mr Foden lives in New York with his wife and their own child. Una has recently said the following about co-parenting: “I’m really happy for them that they have summers in New York and that they’re making lovely memories with their dad, stepmother and sister,” and “Our dynamic is probably different to many people’s, but there are lots of people who have families where the parents aren’t together any more. You just manage it as best you can.”

Parenting Apps

The court is especially keen on separated parents using co-parenting apps to assist with their communication and making decisions. In some cases, the use of these apps might help you avoid court all together and they you share calendars and send secure communication.

There are a number of co-parenting apps such as:

Our Family Wizard
2 houses
Talking Parents

Civil, clear and positive communication between is key for co- [parenting to work. Using an app will often give parents less to worry about and in some cases the apps and they can be inexpensive when considered the cost of going to court.

When might co-parenting not work?

There may however be cases where co-parenting cannot work and in particular where there have been findings made relating to domestic abuse or there is an injunction in place which means it would not be appropriate for parents to be in communication with one another. In these cases, other provisions will need to be considered by the parties in terms of a parent being updated about a child and the court might encourage the use of a third party, for example.

A three minute marriage – How soon can I get divorced?

Posted on 12th October 2023 by McAlister Family Law

A three minute marriage – How soon can I get divorced?

Rumours are circulating online about a couple in Kuwait who were married for a grand total of three minutes. Here, McAlister Family Law’s Heather Lucy looks at how this can happen and whether it would be legally possible in England and Wales.

A three-minute marriage? How is that possible? Apparently, the couple were married in front of a judge and, when they were leaving the courtroom, the bride stumbled. Instead of helping her, the groom mocked her, and the (rightfully?) angry bride asked the court to immediately bring their marriage to an end. The judge agreed and their marriage was dissolved. This may be an urban legend being spread on the internet, but it does pose the question of whether it would be possible to do the same in England and Wales.

In England and Wales, it is not possible to make an application for divorce until you have been married for 12 months. You then have to wait a further 20 weeks from when the court issues your application to become eligible for a conditional order which is the next step in bringing your marriage to an end. This cooling off period may feel unnecessary if you separated less than a year into your marriage but it is almost impossible to dispense with it.

The conditional order is a key step in your divorce. It means that the court are satisfied that you and your partner can be divorced (and you are able to apply for the final order 6 weeks and a day later), and it allows them to make orders about financial matters. This is often a key concern for people who are separating, and they are keen to have the certainty of a final order in place.

If you split up with your partner before a year has passed, then either one of you (or both of you together) might choose to apply to the court for a judicial separation order. These orders are also sometimes sought by people who may not want to divorce for religious reasons but who do want to separate.

It is key to note that a judicial separation order is different to a divorce. One important point is that being judicially separated does not mean that you are legally single and therefore you cannot remarry. Further, a divorce will impact any pre-existing wills and is relevant to the order of inheritance under intestacy laws, but you are still married if you are judicially separated so you will need to think carefully about reviewing your will.

If you judicially separate from your partner, you can apply to the court for a financial order. The range of powers open to the court differs from those available under divorce. The court cannot make a Pension Sharing Order if you are judicially separated and there can be no ‘clean break’ in respect of your finances. You can record that you and your partner intend to get divorced after a year has elapsed and that there should be a clean break order then, but this is not binding.

If you have been married for less than a year and want to legally separate from your partner, then it would be sensible to speak to a specialist family lawyer who can discuss your individual circumstances with you and set out your options moving forward.

Molly Mae and Tommy Fury get engaged – but what if they broke up?

Posted on 5th October 2023 by McAlister Family Law

Molly Mae and Tommy Fury get engaged – but what if they broke up?

Former Love Island contestants, Molly-Mae Hague and Tommy Fury have recently announced their engagement. The pair met on Love Island in 2019 and have been going strong ever since. But what happens if they break up? Here, Weronika Husejko looks at what a separation looks like legally, and what would happen with their daughter Bambi.

As many will know from their Instagram accounts, they have lived together for some time now, pretty much since their exit from Love Island in 2019. They also had their first child together at the beginning of this year, a baby girl called Bambi.

Whilst the happy couple are probably making wedding plans for their big day as we speak, you may wonder- what would happen if they broke up before they tied the knot?

The rules that apply to engaged couples are generally the same as those which apply to cohabiting couples upon separation. This means that they could not make a financial remedy claim under the same legislation that married couples usually would, that being the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973.

TOLATA

In terms of any property that the pair own together, any disputes in relation to this would be treated as a “ToLATA” claim. This is because the Trusts of Land and Appointment of Trustees Act 1996 is the legislation which deals with disputes relating to the ownership of property or land.

In a situation where the property was purchased by both of them and it is clear from the title deeds how the property is held, there is less scope for dispute. However, if one of their names are not on the title deeds, it can become more complicated and will depend upon a number of facts.

Schedule 1

As the pair also have a child, Bambi, they may also be able to make an application under Schedule 1 of the Children Act 1989.

This legislation allows separated parents to apply for various orders for the benefit of the child. This type of application is usually made by the parent with whom the child lives- so say if Bambi lived with Molly-Mae, she may apply for various orders under Schedule 1, depending on their respective financial circumstances of course.

Molly-Mae may be able to apply for the following orders on behalf of their daughter:-

Periodical payments
Secured periodical payments
Lump sum
Settlement of property
Transfer of property

Other avenues

There are actually some other pieces of legislation which provide engaged/ formerly engaged couples with certain rights. One example is that a fiancé may be able to claim a beneficial interest in property owned by their former fiancé albeit this would only apply in limited circumstances e.g., if the non-owning fiancé had made a contribution to substantially improving the property.

In summary, Molly-Mae and Tommy have various legal avenues they may be able to pursue if they did split during their engagement however, they would be very much dependent upon their individual financial circumstances.

Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner – What happens when parents disagree?

Posted on 25th September 202325th September 2023 by McAlister Family Law

Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner – What happens when parents disagree?

Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner locked in relocation battle over their children. Here, McAlister Family Law Solicitor Nicola Bradley looks at what happens when parents disagree on which country their children should live in?

Game of Thrones star, Sophie Turner, and her pop-star husband, Joe Jonas, are currently going through a very public and increasingly acrimonious divorce. To add to their troubles, the pair are now engaged in a very heated court battle over the arrangements for their one year old and three year old daughters. It has been widely reported that Turner and Jonas cannot agree on where the children will live; Turner allegedly claims that Jonas has “abducted” the girls and is wrongfully retaining them in America, whilst a representative for Jonas has hit back with claims that the use of the word “abduction” is a serious abuse of the legal system and entirely misleading in the circumstances.

It can often be very difficult for parents to navigate the arrangements for children when a marriage or relationship comes to an end, but these problems are magnified when the dispute is over which country the children should live in.

In the first instance, parents should always try to sit down and talk this issue through in the hope that an agreement can be reached. In Turner and Jonas’ case, Turner argues that the pair had already agreed that the children would reside in the UK and that Jonas has since resiled from this by keeping the children in America and refusing to hand over their passports.

In circumstances where an agreement has broken down or where you cannot reach agreement, the parent wishing to relocate will need to apply for a Court Order allowing them to do so and permitting them to take the children with them. When making this decision, the paramount consideration of the Court will be the welfare of the children and whether a relocation would be in their best interests. When making this decision, the Court will have mind to a number of factors including but not limited to:-

the motivation of the parent making the application
whether the practical proposals have been well researched and investigated
The reasons for the other parent’s opposition to the relocation
The effect granting or not granting relocation would have on the children’s relationship with either their parents and their respective families

The Court will also take into the children’s wishes and feelings, so far as they can be ascertained. The older a child is, the more weight and emphasis will be placed on what they want to do and what they feel is right for them.

It is important to remember that neither parent can make a unilateral decision to take the children to another country. If one parent takes the children out of the jurisdiction without the expressed permission of the other parent, this amounts to abduction and emergency orders can be obtained for the summary return of the children to this country. Similarly, if you are concerned that the children are at risk of being taken out of the jurisdiction by the other parent, emergency orders can be sought to prevent this from happening.

A Child’s Gender Identity – Who Decides?

Posted on 28th July 202328th July 2023 by McAlister Family Law

A Child’s Gender Identity – Who Decides?

NHS statistics indicate that referrals for children wishing to change genders have rocketed in the past 5 years, initiating worldwide debate as to how to respond to this in a societal and legislative sense. Here, Eleanor Drury looks at how parents, schools, and the government approach the gender identity of children and the implications teachers face without the government’s promised guidance.

A child’s gender identity, who decides? A proposed bill in California, Assembly Bill 957, also known as the Transgender, Gender-Diverse and Intersex Youth Empowerment Act, would seek to brand parents as abusive if they refuse to affirm their transgender child’s identity and let children’s social services intervene in instances of the same.

The act stresses that it is part of a child’s health, safety and welfare for parents to support their child’s self-proclaimed gender identity and allows the courts to consider parental responses to these sorts of issues when determining custody disputes, further encouraging the judiciary to strongly consider that affirming a child’s gender identity should fall within the realms of best interest decision making.

Here in the UK, legislators have taken a contrasting approach, with Suella Braverman MP stating that schools have no legal obligations which require them to address children by their preferred pronouns or names, nor accommodate them in opposite sex toilets or sports teams. In addition, the UK government are rumoured to be introducing new guidance which instructs teachers not to use a new name or pronoun, as requested by the student, without obtaining parental consent first.

Of course, the government must consider the implications this may have on children, with some educators accusing the government of creating an ‘atmosphere of fear’ whereby transgender children cannot access support from their teachers, along with potentially opening the floodgates for breaches of confidentiality claims. In addition, guidance such as this creates a particularly tricky environment to navigate given that it is common across schools nationwide for teachers to allow, and join in with, children being referred to by a name different to that which they were registered at birth with, such as a nickname. Schools will be no doubt be keen to ensure that they do not fall risk to direct discrimination complaints.

In modern society, the issue of children and gender identity is likely to continue to hit the headlines as reports of transgender and gender-fluid children soar. Government guidance is desperately needed in order to provide clarification in this controversial area and allow schools some relief from being caught in the crossfire of opposing views and beliefs. Last month, teachers at a school in Sussex were subject to controversy following the publishing of a secret recording in which teenage pupils were debating whether a person could identify as a cat, with one student brandishing this as ‘crazy’, only to be told by the teacher that these views were ‘despicable’, adding that if they didn’t like this, they need to find a different school. It appears that teachers are understandably fearful of what they say, and the consequences of the same, and therefore struggle to respond to students in a sensible and honest way. Without clear boundaries in this area, it can be argued that debates such as this only delegitimise and stigmatise young transgender people. The Association of School and College Leaders (ASCL) state that this underlines the need for the government to publish its promised guidance on children and gender identity, which the ASCL sought over 5 years ago.

Whilst it is extremely unlikely that any future guidance published in the UK will be so inclusive as to include children who wish to identify as animals, It will certainly be interesting to see if clarification will finally be provided for educators, and whether UK legislators are influenced by the differing proposals of the US in respect of gender dysphoria. Could it be that UK children’s social care may be forced to intervene in instances of disagreement between parent/guardian, and child?

Am I entitled to continue the lifestyle to which I have become accustomed if I divorce?

Posted on 13th July 2023 by McAlister Family Law

Am I entitled to continue the lifestyle to which I have become accustomed if I divorce?

The end of a marriage often leads to a lot of financial worry for those involved. One factor that many are concerned about is will they be able to continue to afford the lifestyle that they had with their spouse during the marriage. Here, McAlister Family Law Partner, Fiona Wood, looks at what the judges will consider when dealing with the financial aspects of a divorce.

When a financial settlement is made in divorce proceedings the judge will have to look at dividing the capital assets and pension assets in a way that meets both spouse’s capital needs (this is usually housing needs, paying debts and funding retirement – if there are reasonable pension provisions). Once the Judge decides what capital and pension assets the spouses will have, they can then consider if one spouse needs spousal maintenance from the other, or a capital sum in lieu of spousal maintenance, to assist them to meet their needs.

A judge has to consider the lifestyle that the couple enjoyed during their marriage, when considering what a fair settlement is. However, if the couple’s assets and incomes are modest, inevitably both their lifestyles will be negatively impacted by them divorcing. The greater the couple’s assets and income the more likely they will receive a financial settlement that allows them to continue the lifestyle that they had during the marriage.

When dealing with the financial aspects of divorce it is usual for both spouses to state how much they need to buy a house, if they are not saying that they want to stay living in the family home. Where there is less capital, both of the couple may have to downsize as part of their divorce settlement. If there are more assets one may be able to keep the family home and the other purchase another property of a similar value. The value of a house that is suitable for each spouse depends upon the couple’s assets and can be a point of dispute between the couple.

Divorcing spouses also need to state their income needs. Not only does this include essential expenditure such as mortgage payments, food and utility bills, it can also include less essential expenditure such as holidays, entertainment, gardeners etc. Those with significant wealth have huge schedules of income needs, including staff, private jets and the funding of several properties. If the couple cannot agree their settlement and a judge has to adjudicate on the issue, it is likely that they will be asked about their stated income needs and to justify them. To justify them they need to show that this is the level that you and your spouse spent at during the marriage. It is the lifestyle that you had.

Judges are critical of those spouses whose income needs are more of a wish list than a reflection of the lifestyle enjoyed during the marriage. For example if you and your spouse only had one holiday a year in Europe, if you are now saying that you need sufficient money from your spouse to fund several holidays a year, including long haul destinations, a judge is unlikely to say that this is reasonable.

You are not automatically entitled to continue the lifestyle to which you have become accustomed if you divorce, but the lifestyle that you enjoyed as a couple is relevant, and if there is sufficient capital and income it is likely to be maintained,

If you are worried about your financial future if you divorce, you should take advice from an expert family lawyer.

Forced Marriage Protection Orders, what are they and who can apply for one?

Posted on 28th June 202328th June 2023 by McAlister Family Law

Forced Marriage Protection Orders, what are they and who can apply for one?

A marriage should always be someone’s choice, but sometimes people are forced into marriage. In his latest blog for McAlister Family Law, Sereyvudd Pheanouk looks at Forced Marriage Protection Orders and explains who can apply for one.

What is a Forced Marriage?

A forced marriage is where one or both parties do not, or cannot, consent to the marriage.

Forced marriages can occur with anyone from all backgrounds, nationalities, males and females, and does not just happen to young people, but adults as well. Forced marriages are not to be confused with arranged marriages, in which both parties have a say and agree to the union.

Forced Marriage Protection Orders

The Forced Marriage (Civil Protection) Act 2007 provides the Court the ability to grant Force Marriage Protection Orders (FMPO) to protect the victim from coming into any further harm, in relation to the forced marriage.

An FMPO acts as a deterrent for perpetrators to approach the victim, similar to a non-molestation order or injunction. The purpose of the FMPO is to protect the victim from being forced to marry; however, it can also restrict the perpetrator from doing certain acts such as taking the victim out of the country, making marriage arrangements, contacting the victim directly/indirectly, and it can protect the victim from violence.

Powers of arrest can be attached to the order and if breached, the perpetrator could face imprisonment under contempt of Court.

Who can apply for a FMPO?

You can apply for an FMPO if you are:

Being forced into a marriage; or
Already in a forced marriage

A relevant third party of any victim with permission from the Court can make an application for a FMPO on their behalf.

Local Authorities can also apply for a FMPO on behalf of the victim if they consider the victim to be vulnerable or under 18.

An FMPO can be made without notice; however, this is on a case by case basis. This means that the respondent will not be notified that an application for an FMPO has been made. The respondent will receive notice once an order has been granted.

There is no court fee for making an application and legal aid is available for applications subject to a means test.

If you or someone you know is affected by the issues raised in this blog post, we can provide you with advice and assist you in applying for an FMPO. For more information, please get in touch with our specialist team at hello@mcalisterfamilylaw.co.uk