Child Maintenance and Domestic Abuse – New measures to assist survivors of domestic abuse

Posted on 2nd March 2023 by McAlister Family Law

Child Maintenance and Domestic Abuse – New measures to assist survivors of domestic abuse

New laws will soon be introduced to protect victims of domestic abuse from having to deal with the other parent, if they are the perpetrator of the abuse, in regard to child maintenance applications. Here, Melissa Jones, Senior Associate, looks at what this means for domestic abuse victims and how the Child Maintenance Service is going to support them.

It’s not physical violence, is it Domestic Abuse?

Domestic abuse is when someone close to you, often a partner or spouse causes you physical, sexual, financial or emotional hardship. It is a misconception that in order for you to be categorized as being in an abusive relationship, there must be physical violence. In many cases there is no physical violence; instead, there is psychological and emotional abuse.

Domestic violence can take many forms. Other than physical violence and threats of violence, you may feel intimidated by things that are said to you, or the manner in which you are treated. You may feel controlled and prevented from spending time with friends and family. Abuse can be verbal; you may feel belittled by your partner at home or in front of others.

In addition to the above, you might feel anxious about claiming child maintenance from the other parent, if they have been abusive towards you, because they might use a child maintenance application as a way to further contact you, harass your, intimidate you or as a way of exerting financial control.

What is Child Maintenance? Can I claim this?

All parents have a responsibility to provide financially for their child even if they live apart from the child and the other parent. Child maintenance can make a significant difference to a child’s wellbeing and the quality of family relationships. Child maintenance is the regular, reliable financial support parents provide for their child when they separate. It can help towards a child’s everyday living costs and give them the best start in life.

Child maintenance can be agreed voluntarily between parents. If an agreement cannot be reached, then an application can be made to the Child Maintenance Service (CMS) – a government body that assesses one parent’s financial means and can make a mandatory requirement that he or she pays child maintenance to the other.

The amount of child maintenance that will need to be paid will depend on a number of factors. For further information visit the Government website.

How will the Child Maintenance Service help me?

Under the new measures soon to be introduced, the CMS will:

Give you the choice, as a survivor of domestic abuse, to allow the CMS to collect Child Maintenance and make payments on your behalf. This would be without the consent of the abusive ex-partner.
Be given powers to report suspected cases of financial coercion to the Crown Protection Service.

Senior Associate, Melissa Jones comments “this is a very helpful and proactive step in tackling domestic abuse and practically assisting survivors of domestic abuse. Sadly, help for a victim is not only needed when they are still with perpetrator but long after too, and with Child Maintenance claims, protection might still be needed after the relationship has ended to prevent further emotional and financial control. The new measures are much needed, and will no doubt help a number of domestic abuse survivors in difficult times and adds an extra layer of protection as they move on with their lives.”

If you believe you are, or someone you know is suffering from domestic abuse, then there are ways to help you, and them. At McAlister Family Law we can help victims of domestic abuse by advising them on the most appropriate course of action in their particular situation,

If you are anxious about claiming child maintenance, want to learn more about your rights pet and want some advice, then contact our team of family experts who can advise you further.

If you need advice on this topic, or any other matters concerning divorce or family law, please get in touch with our team at McAlister Family Law.

Sources

https://www.familylawweek.co.uk/site.aspx?i=ed235424

I didn’t know I had a child – What are my legal rights?

Posted on 23rd February 2023 by McAlister Family Law

I didn’t know I had a child – What are my legal rights?

If you have only just found out that you and your ex-partner have a child together, which you did not know about, you might find yourself asking ‘what are my legal rights?’. Here, Weronika Husejko looks at parental responsibility, contact and what the court may consider.

Most parents have what is called ‘parental responsibility’. Parental responsibility is defined as all of the rights, duties, powers, responsibilities and authorities which by law a parent of a child has in relation to the child and the child’s property. This includes housing the child, maintaining them, and making decisions such as which school the child goes to, or whether they receive certain medical treatment.

Parental responsibility is automatically acquired by a mother by way of giving birth to the child.

The father on the other hand can acquire parental responsibility by one of four ways: –

Being married to the child’s mother
Being named on the child’s birth certificate
By the mother agreeing for the father to have parental responsibility
By applying to the Court for parental responsibility

If you did not know that you were the child’s father, the likelihood may be that you do not have parental responsibility of your child. If the mother or other parent with parental responsibility agrees for you to have parental responsibility, you can complete a Parental Responsibility Agreement. However, if the mother or other parent with parental responsibility do not agree, you can apply to the Court for parental responsibility. If granted by the Court, it will provide you with certain legal rights and responsibilities in relation to the child as mentioned above. Even if you do not have parental responsibility, you may be able to have contact with the child. If the other parent does not agree for you to spend time with the child, there are various options available to you. You have the right to apply to the Court for a Child Arrangements Order as a parent of the child regardless of whether you have parental responsibility.

A Child Arrangements Order regulates who and when the child is to live with, spend time with and have any other contact with. So, for example, you wish to apply to the Court for an Order that you spend time with the child on specific days.

When the Court considers this type of application, the child’s welfare will be their paramount consideration. They must have regard to the ‘welfare checklist’ which is set out by Section 1 of the Children Act 1989. This includes things such as the wishes and feelings of the child and their physical, emotional and educational needs.

You may not necessarily have to go to Court if contact with your child cannot be agreed with the mother. Mediation is a useful option in certain circumstances. There is a requirement to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) before making a Court application in any event.

If an agreement is reached for contact either directly between yourselves or via a mediator, you can put together a parenting plan. This is not enforceable by the Court however it can be very useful for parents to use it as a basis for their child arrangements.

We can provide you with specific advice as to what your rights and options are as a father. Get in touch with our specialist children team.

If you need advice on this topic, or any other matters concerning divorce or family law, please get in touch with our team at McAlister Family Law.

Grimes, X Æ A-Xii and not identifying as ‘mum’ – do right and wrong parenting styles exist?

Posted on 16th February 202316th February 2023 by McAlister Family Law

Grimes, X Æ A-Xii and not identifying as ‘mum’ – Do right and wrong parenting styles exist?

The futuristic pop star, Grimes, and her equally eccentric, billionaire boyfriend, Elon Musk, are one of the most famous pairings in the world for many reasons. One of which, is their unique parenting style. Here, Nikki Bradley looks at how Grimes and Musk coparent their children and discusses why it’s okay to break the parenting ‘norms’.

She has been described as the visionary inventor of “space opera” and he as a genius supervillain. We don’t quite understand them or the nature of their relationship and despite reports they are no longer together, Grimes herself has described their relationship status in the past as “very fluid”. Our curiosity for the pair only grew when their first child together, X Æ A-Xii, was born in May 2020. The pair have since welcomed their second child, Exa Dark Sideræl Musk, born in January 2022.

A quick google of “Grimes and Elon Musk” shows the top results that follow are “baby name”, “baby”, “kids”. The otherworldly names of their children and the manner of their parenting is striking. Their children are being raised differently and the world wants to know more.

“Maybe he can sense my distaste for the word ‘mother’… I can’t identify with it”

Grimes has spoken openly about motherhood and parenting, including her decision to live apart from Elon Musk despite being romantically attached and raising two children together. Although their non-conventional parenting style does not come as surprising, one of the most shocking revelations came when Grimes revealed to Vogue that her son calls her by her real name, Claire.

She went on to explain that whilst she respects the title “mum”, it is not a term she identifies with, and she believes her son can sense her distaste for it.

“I love playing devil’s advocate, questioning my beliefs, making hard pivots”

By her own above admission, Grimes thrives off being an unconventional boundary pusher. However, when it comes to parenting and children, quirky attitudes and behaviours scare people. We may regard the age we live in as progressive, but society’s view of parenting remains incredibly conservative.

Grimes is right to challenge this.

The world thinks she and Elon Musk are weird because their style and approach to co-parenting does not fit society’s definition of “normal”.

There is no “normal” when it comes to parenting, nor is there a “perfect” way to raise your child. Children need love, protection and nurturing and a happy child will be raised in a household that keeps them safe and emotionally secure.

First time parents in particular often feel an overwhelming pressure to do things “right”. You are doing it “right” as long as you are meeting your child’s needs and acting in their best interests. The road you take to achieve that is up to you entirely.

Breaking the mould

Being a parent is not about trying to make the rest of the world happy or doing what other people tell you is correct. Being a parent is about doing right by your child and nobody else but you knows how best to do this. If you try and fit another person’s parenting mould it will feel uncomfortable, and your child will sense it. You do not want to end up a square peg in a round hole.

Do not be afraid to choose your own parenting path. Even if you are in a committed relationship with your co-parent, it may be that the “apartners” approach (committed romantically but living apart) as favoured by Grimes, is right for you and your children. It may not be a conventional but if you and your children are happy, nothing else matters.

If you need advice on this topic, or any other matters concerning divorce or family law, please get in touch with our team at McAlister Family Law.

How to cope with long-distance parenting

Posted on 2nd February 2023 by McAlister Family Law

How to cope with long-distance parenting

In an increasingly mobile world following the Covid-19 pandemic, where more of us than ever are moving out of cities as we work from home or in a hybrid fashion, how does this impact parents who live a significant distance away from the other parent? Here, Michael Compston looks at how long-distance parenting can work though direct and indirect contact, and how the school holidays can be your friend.

During the Covid-19 pandemic, nearly half[1] of all adults were working from home at least some of the time, and 8 out of 10 adults indicate that they want to work from home in a hybrid manner moving forward.

This has led to an exodus of city dwellers as families look for more space and greener living, now that they are not as constrained by the 9-5 office job that they once were.

This will likely lead to an increase in children being relocated and, ultimately, more instances where there is a significant distance between both parents. Children can only attend one school, so how can parents agree arrangements that work for the child/ren?

The reality is that, whilst both parents will have involvement in the child’s life, the child will have one ‘home’ such that the child lives with one parent and spends time with another.

Perhaps even more so than under other circumstances, communication between the parents is vital. The parent with whom the child lives must ensure that the child’s relationship with the other parent is protected and given the chance to develop even with the distances between the parents. There are several ways that this can be done:

Direct contact

Whatever the distance, we will all travel for our children. If you find yourself in a situation where you’re the parent that lives a significant distance away from your child, any time you get with your child will be precious. It will not be suitable, for example, to return the child to school on Monday given the distances involved. Instead, think about maximising your time with the child; if you can work flexibly on a Friday to arrive at school for collection, that means nearly a full weekend can be enjoyed by all.

Whilst the child lives in only one home, it is important that they understand their other parent has a home of their own. Contact should be encouraged to take place at the address of the parent with whom the child does not live, where possible.

This might not be possible during term-time if the parties live a very long way from each other, such that the journey time is greater than 6 hours.

Indirect contact

Modern technology allows us to keep up to date like our parents could not have dreamed of 30 years ago. Instant communication is possible through FaceTime and WhatsApp video calls, which is crucial to maintaining relationships over long distances.

These calls should be private; if you are the parent with whom the child lives, it is important to respect the relationship between the child and the other parent and to not intrude unnecessarily unless you have concerns about the content of the calls.

Regular video calls can be a useful tool in maintaining relationships over long distances.

School Holidays

The school holidays afford a prime opportunity for the parent with whom the child does not live to have some real, quality time with that parent. The holidays can be shared equally or perhaps even in favour of the non-resident parent to account for the disparity in contact during term-time.

Religious festivals can also be shared. Schools close for two weeks at Christmas and Easter generally, and also have provisions in place for other religious festivals such as Eid and Yom Kippur.

If you need advice on this topic, or any other matters concerning divorce or family law, please get in touch with our team at McAlister Family Law.

[1] https://www.ons.gov.uk/employmentandlabourmarket/peopleinwork/employmentandemployeetypes/articles/ishybridworkingheretostay/2022-05-23