Mother’s Day is often portrayed as a day of celebration – flowers, cards and breakfast in bed. For many families, it is a moment to pause and appreciate the role mothers play in their children’s lives.
However, for mothers who are involved, or who have previously been involved, in care proceedings, Mother’s Day can feel very different.
While some mothers may be preparing to be pampered, for others the day serves as a stark reminder that they may not be able to see their child on this special occasion.
Provision for Mother’s Day
Not all children live with their mothers. A child may instead live with their father, other family members, or friends.
Where there is a court order in place, such as a Child Arrangements Order or a Special Guardianship Order, the order may include provisions relating to special occasions such as Mother’s Day. It is quite common for such orders to specify that contact takes place on Mother’s Day, although this will depend on the individual circumstances of each case.
Similarly, if a child usually lives with their mother but spends time with their father on Sundays, the arrangements may specifically state that Mother’s Day take priority over the usual contact schedule.
It is therefore important, when making arrangements for children, to consider and include provisions for significant celebratory days such as Mother’s Day.
Foster Care
The situation can be different where a child is in foster care, or living with a family member, and the mother has supervised contact.
In these circumstances, it is unlikely that special arrangements will automatically be made for Mother’s Day, and contact will usually take place as previously agreed within the existing schedule.
If there are family members who have been positively assessed and deemed suitable to supervise contact, it may be possible for alternative arrangements to be made. However, this will depend on the individual circumstances of the case and the suitability and availability of any proposed supervisors.
As a result, contact may take a variety of forms, including:
- supervised contact sessions
- contact at a contact centre
- indirect contact, such as letters, cards, or video calls
Unfortunately, special occasions like Mother’s Day do not always change existing arrangements. Where a child is in foster care or subject to supervised contact, the usual contact schedule will often continue as planned rather than being adjusted for the day itself.
Adoption …
For some mothers, Mother’s Day serves as a powerful reminder of what has been lost and can bring a deep sense of reflection.
The constant reminders associated with the day can intensify feelings of grief, longing, and unanswered questions about their child. Even though their child may now be part of another family, the identity of being a mother does not simply disappear.
For many women, Mother’s Day becomes a quiet and personal moment to remember their child, reflect on the circumstances that led to adoption, and hold onto the love they continue to feel.
For others, the experience can act as motivation to continue working towards change – whether that means engaging with support services, addressing personal difficulties, or demonstrating their ability to care safely for their other children.
While the family courts ultimately focus on the welfare of the child, the process also recognises the importance of supporting parents wherever possible.
Many mothers do succeed in making positive changes, although sadly this can sometimes come too late.
It is important to remember that not everyone experiences the “perfect family day” often portrayed in society and Mother’s Day can look very different for every family.
If you would like further information in relation to the current or future arrangements for your child, please contact one of our family lawyers who will be happy to assist: [email protected].
