Do the Beckhams and Rooneys prove you should stay in a marriage and work at it?

With the press full of stories about the Beckhams and Rooneys and their historical marriage woes, McAlister Family Law Partner, Lisa Brown, raises the question of whether it is the right thing to stay in a marriage when it is floundering or not?

Both the Beckhams and the Rooneys appear to have navigated troubled waters and arguably come out stronger but that is not always the case and there is no one right answer as to how hard is too hard when it comes to fighting for a relationship.

If I start divorce proceedings is there no way back?

From a legal perspective should you decide to start divorce proceedings there is still a way back until the final divorce order as you can effectively ask the court to cancel the proceedings. It is rare that this happens as for lots of people the process of separating their finances and resolving issues in relation to the children can polarise them further. Having said that there are couples who go through the entire process only to get re-married again!

Does it matter if I am the one who ends it?

Sometimes the making of the initial decision can be the hardest part and it can also colour how the parties deal with the practical elements of separation. For example, where it was more one person’s desire than the others, they can feel guilty and end up walking away with less than they deserve.

The process of divorce and all that comes with it is inevitably driven by emotions, but parties do need to understand that with the financial settlement they only get one chance to get it right and if they agree something which is overly generous or, conversely, which doesn’t meet their needs they may end up regretting it.

From a legal point of view, it will not have any impact who ends the relationship nor whose fault it is. Part of the reasoning behind that is that if some account was taken of who left who and the circumstances of that in determining either financial or child arrangement issues then the courts would be full of people arguing about whose fault the demise of the relationship actually was. Relationships are complex and this would lead to greater uncertainty and cost in litigation.

So, what should I do?

There is perhaps a reluctance to speak to a divorce lawyer when a relationship may be struggling- almost as if in doing so you are accepting the relationship is over. Like most things in life though it is far better to be aware of what might happen than end up potentially going into the situation blind.

Added to that there are many different myths about family law which are frequently repeated, but wholly inaccurate and inevitably most people will know somebody who has had a “bad” divorce with it being long fought, expensive, acrimonious or all of those things. This can inadvertently impact your view and cause unnecessary stress and worry.

Speaking to somebody who can guide you through the legal process could help crystallise your decision one way or another. A divorce/ family solicitor shouldn’t be pushing you into a divorce but instead should set out the various legal options and processes to allow you to make an informed decision. Advice given is always completely confidential.

If you are in a relationship that is struggling at present my advice would be to speak to one of our specialist family solicitors so you can make a decision about your future with all of the facts.

If you or someone you know is affected by the issues raised in this blog post, we can provide you with expert legal advice. For more information, please get in touch with our specialist team at hello@mcalisterfamilylaw.co.uk

Should we open a joint account?

There are lots of decisions to make during a relationship and perhaps even more so when parties begin cohabiting. One of the questions which sometimes comes up is whether or not you should have a joint bank account with your partner? Here, Lisa Brown looks at what a joint account means from the perspective of couples, the bank, and family law.

This is obviously a personal decision and can vary between couples. It can be helpful from a practical point of view if you have a lot of joint expenditure, but it would be sensible to agree some ground rules about usage and how much each party is expected to contribute from the outset.

From the bank’s perspective, for example, if one party were to run up a large overdraft on a joint account, they would still generally consider that to a joint liability. Similarly, from a family law point of view if a cohabiting couple are separating the starting point would be that assets are divided as they are held legally so any savings in a joint account should be shared equally, and any joint borrowing should be borne equally.

To have some clarity between you, it might be sensible to have a cohabitation agreement which can deal with how any assets would be divided on separation (including any joint accounts) and also, if you wish, how outgoings will be met during the relationship.

These agreements are not currently 100% binding, but they are very useful and are becoming more and more popular.

What about if you are married?

Lots of married couples have joint accounts but it is not a pre-requisite, and some choose not to.

Back in February Chloe Madeley hit the headlines when she revealed that she went back to work 8 weeks after giving birth citing the fact that she doesn’t have a joint account with her husband, James Haskell (and presumably that in effect they both financially support themselves).

Whilst obviously it is for every individual couple to decide on their own financial arrangements during their relationship this statement does give the impression that simply because there is no joint account there is no financial links or accountability between Chloe and James.

This is not the case for married couples or those in civil partnerships. The legal starting point is quite different to couples who simply live together. When you enter into a marriage or civil partnership you immediately gain the ability to make a wide range of financial claims against your partner (and likewise they have those claims against you).

If your marriage or civil partnership were to come to an end and you cannot agree how assets should be divided, then the court has the power to divide them between you in line with the factors set out in Section 25 Matrimonial Causes Act. These factors include (amongst other things) the assets and income of each party, length of the relationship and the contributions you have each made.

The court is not bound to consider monies in a joint account joint nor monies in one person’s sole name as money to be retained solely by them.

There can, however, be circumstances where it is relevant where monies have been held. For example, if one party had received an inheritance the court may be more minded to exclude that from any settlement if it had always been kept separate in a sole account.

If you or somebody you know wants to understand their legal position better whether they are cohabiting, thinking about cohabiting, engaged or married they should contact one of our specialist family lawyers today.

If you need advice on this topic, or any other matters concerning forced marriage, please get in touch with our team at hello@mcalisterfamilylaw.co.uk